It’s recently been announced that the last soldier who fought in the Great War has died. On my hearing this my heart took a leap of happiness, even though I fought in the Great War and am still alive.
I’ll explain. Being on the run from the Law over many years everywhere, was getting on my nerves, for I had abandoned hope that this state of affairs would sometime end. I felt there was no way out other than by dying. Hence I contemplated suicide. I reasoned that since I was well over 100 I had little to lose by Crossing Over to the Other Side earlier by a handful of years at most.
Then I thought some more. What if I could fake my own death? This wouldn’t be impossible, since men have successfully faked their own deaths, usually for life-insurance purposes. I discussed all this with my men, Mikey Squeaky and Freddy, because they were also on the run from the Law, with little possibility this would ever change, and so might wish to fake their own deaths too. It turned out they did want to.
How, then, to go about it?
One night, very late, we went into the skid row area of the Mexican town we were residing in, and got into conversation with four unshaven elderly men who smelled of unwashed clothes, tequila and whiskey. We got them to drink yet more drink until they were senseless enough to be shoved into a car in which we took them out of town and into the mountains.
At an appropriate spot we stopped, removed all identification from the drunken men, put our British army identification tags around their necks, put a lighted match into the petrol tank, and pushed the car over the road’s edge. We watched as the car rolled down the hillside, and watched as it exploded in fire…….
The local newspapers of the following day contained reports of a crashed burned-out car, and of four unrecognisably burned bodies found inside……..
I live in hope that the Law is now no longer interested in me. I cannot, however, be sure, for I’ve yet to see any reports in any newspaper about my death, or of the deaths Mikey Squeaky and Freddy.
And, what if Mikey Squeaky and Freddy should get caught in Mexico – or in whatever other land they may now be in – and reveal all?