Nothing at all has happened with me in the few days since last I posted. It’s arguably the quietest time I’ve had in the course of my 118 years. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised because I know no-one here on the Pacific Rain Coast where I’m hiding from the Law. Also I have no Family left. It’s, after all, only when people are around, whether they’re friendly or hostile, that Things Happen.
Hence I’m feeling more at peace than I have for a long, long time, and so have more luxury to be attentive to the beauties of the natural world that surrounds me and the elements that envelop me – the mists, the fog, the rain, the forests, and the wild animals. While I don’t see many wild animals, I see more than I thought I would when I came here.
On my forest hikes – which I do daily to keep fit, thereby postponing the day when I must Cross Over – I not infrequently meet bears, coyotes, and deer. Wolves and cougars are supposed to be about, but I haven’t yet met any.
The other day on a forest hike, I saw a large white-headed eagle as it swooped through the trees. It alit on a tree branch ahead. When I reached the tree it flew on to another tree and alit on another branch. This kept on for a few more trees until the eagle disappeared. I didn’t see it fly off, but it must have, else why could I no longer see it?
Could it, though, have vanished without flying away? Was it, perhaps, a visitor from a parallel world popping into ours, just to say hallo? Or was it the spirit of my late wife Gladys or late son Albert? Or was it, as it seemed, a real eagle, but on which the police had attached a small camera to try to find out where I am? As it is, even when I hike through forests and I see a man approaching, I’m always ready to flee if he looks like he could be a policeman.
If only I could find out whether the police have definitively concluded I’m dead, and so are no longer looking for me. I would feel much less anxious if I could know. On the other hand, if I could know, another quite unrelated anxiety could invade the space in my brain where my anxiety about the police now is, and I would continue as anxiety-ridden as before. Is there to be no escape as long as I live?